11.24.24
I haven’t kept up with my blog, and if I did have an entry here and there it got lost in my notes app somehow, so I will do my best to summarize what’s been going on since I posted my last entry.
12.7.24
I didn’t end up writing beyond that first sentence on the 24th lol, so let’s try this again.
I actually had to go back and reread where I left off in my blog posting because it’s been so long. So much has happened since then. I wish I could give you my authentic in-the-moment feelings, but at least I can spare you all a bit of melodramatic ranting.
My last post was on September 13th, and I was reflecting on the release of my new single DIEHARD. The most significant music thing that has happened to me since then was being nominated for my first music award and performing at a ceremony, so I’ll start there!
I was nominated for Best Country Solo Artist female for the National Industry of Music Awards. This was an exciting milestone for me because I have never been nominated for a music award, much less one with a red carpet-like ceremony. It was exciting and made me feel a lot more legitimate.
When I found out I was nominated, my latest release had been Dandelion. But since I was in the midst of promoting my new Nebraska football inspired single, I went with a red dress. Let me rephrase that: I went with THE red dress. One that Nick Jonas would want to sing about. I also got my hair and makeup professionally done for the event.
It may sound silly, but throughout the whole experience, the thought that kept going through my head was “This is what I’m meant to be doing.” I felt totally at ease, natural, and in alignment with my purpose. I can only describe it as feeling like I was on the right timeline, like this is the life the higher powers that be wanted me to be living and planned for me before I was born. I’m sorry if that makes me sound conceded or whatever, but it comes from a genuine place. I felt like I did when I was a kid doing musicals. I felt at home being dressed up, getting my picture taken,being interviewed by news outlets at the event, and talking about my music. I was beaming. I don’t know how else to describe it, it just felt right with my soul.
It was really exciting because I was also scheduled to perform and the award show, which not all nominees were asked to do. It was another great opportunity to promote my music, especially to the other industry insiders at the event. My producer was actually my guitar player this time, which was fun. It was nice to be able to take our creations into a place where they were being honored and have my producer be a part of that. It shows how far we’ve come since we started.
I felt just as natural on stage as I did walking into the event. It didn’t hurt that the crowd was attentive and supportive. I sang Dandelion and DIEHARD. With only one prior practice with my producer, I felt solid about the performance. Again, it felt right being up there in my evening gown with my hair and makeup all done up. I felt like a star.
These moments are important for independent artists especially because so often we feel like imposters. We hold our day jobs and scrounge for our money to make our music and we find days and places to play between all of our life obligations, it can be hard to feel legitimate. But that is all I felt that night.
I didn’t end up winning my award, but the girl who did had been on The Voice, so I wasn’t bothered. It was cool just to be there and be considered.
My favorite part, as it usually is, was when a little girl at the show asked for my autograph. At the end of the day, that’s who I am doing this for. That is who I wrote the song Dandelion for. I wrote to her to always believe in her dreams or something along those lines, and we also got a picture. I will never get tired of moments like that.
After the show, my mom and I went to dinner downtown. I absolutely LOVED being all dressed up like that in the public eye. People walking by were staring at me and I even noticed a woman snap my picture. It was my own little taste of fame and I was absolutely living for it. I was definitely looking and feeling the part. For the first time in a long time, my life was feeling like it was making sense.
2.19.25
I stopped writing the past portion of my blog because my roommate and I were doing some work in a coffee shop prior to going to see Wicked in 4D, and it was time to go to the movie. I finally have a burst of energy for the first time in a minute, so I am going to try to crank through the rest of this and get you all back up to the present day.
I feel like catching up has been the theme of my life lately, but that’s a bit more recent news. I’ll get into that later, or at least in my next post.
Something else I wanted to mention here is the fact that I’ve been attending some Music Industry BBQs. My networking game hasn’t been as strong as I’d like it to be post-COVID, so this was an opportunity to do something I hadn’t been doing well since I first moved here. Mixing and mingling.
I was asked to play a writer’s round whose hosts also routinely have BBQs at their house for artists who play, along with other music industry friends. I’ve gone multiple times now, and I’ve got new writes on the books because of it. I was also able to reconnect with some people I’d lost touch with over COVID, and that has led to some new opportunities.
Things since then have been feeling overwhelmingly positive. And since I don't want to ruin a positive post, I have decided I'm going to talk about the election and the aftermath in my next one.
Skipping that entirely, I want to talk about my recent trip to Lincoln in December.
I had planned to go back to Nebraska for a football game, but given my recent release, I was also in touch with a local radio station. Long story short, I was asked to come perform at their tailgate party.
I was able to connect with one of my old band members, and we were able to make a performance happen!
This was exciting and nostalgic because in many ways, performing with this band the summer after graduating is what prepped me for my move to Nashville. This would be the first time I'd be playing original music with them, which felt very sentimental and full circle.
The day prior, we went over some cover songs as well as some originals, in my guitar player Mark's basement, just like the old days.
The day of the performance was hectic, as all Nebraska gamedays are. The whole city was buzzing with excitement, and the sea of red was swelling across the street. The bar was packed full of people, and I was pumped, but also a bit nervous.
Prior to my performance, the alumni band took the stage, which was really cool. By the time I got up there, people had started heading to the stadium, but thankfully I still had a decent audience.
With only one rehearsal the night prior, I think we did a solid job. I didn't forget any of the lyrics to any of the cover songs, which was a concern of mine because I should have practiced them more. I do think I could have done better though. I was having a hard time hearing the guitar, and I feel like I let that throw me off a bit. I wish I had a stronger stage presence, but I know that will come with more time and practice. Overall, I was very happy to get to play DIEHARD in Lincoln on game day. There is no place like Nebraska and there is nowhere better to perform that particular song.
The Huskers had a tough loss to USC the game prior and were still only one win away from clinching bowl eligibility for the first time in seven years. It may have been just a coincidence that the year I decided to come back up for a game (my first time since college) and play my Nebraska song, they finally got that win. Who's to say?
The victory was EPIC, and as the students stormed the field, it was a win I felt like I desperately needed given the difficult year I'd just had. Something about that win made me feel like things could be shifting in my favor this year too. There is definitely a parallel there with the music industry. Winning doesn't happen overnight. It takes so much to get up after being knocked down over and over again. To get close but still fall short. To take one step forward and three steps back. It takes an unbelievable amount of grit and determination to keep believing you can make it despite what it looks like. I've learned that in order to succeed, I need to be my own die-hard fan. Maybe the hard times are over. Maybe it will be a year of close wins instead of close losses. Maybe, for both my music career and Husker Football, this time won't break my heart. This time, it will all be ours.
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