2.3.25
I’ve been slacking on this blog because the world has been a heavy place lately.
Trump won the election. And ever since then, it feels like it’s been one horrific headline after another. I genuinely fear for my life and well-being as a woman, and for those around me. I can’t comprehend how so many people could get behind someone so blatantly horrible—someone who actively campaigned on hatred and harm. I saw a Nazi salute at an inaugural event, and then people tried to justify or deny what I witnessed with my own eyes.
I don’t want to rant about Trump in this post because he gets enough attention as it is. But the last month has been draining, stressful, and somewhat hopeless, to say the least. I’ve been exhausted, and some days it’s an accomplishment just to do the bare minimum.
I’m writing today because this past weekend has been a much-needed revival.
Friday night, I got to see Kelsea Ballerini in concert. It was my first time seeing her live, even though I’ve been a fan since 2017. I even used to cover some of her deep cuts when I performed in Nebraska.
It was her first headlining show at Bridgestone Arena and overall a very special night for her.
I’ve written about this in the past, but I truly believe that humans experiencing music shows us at our best. It shows us doing what we’re meant to be doing. As my friend and I made our way to our seats, another audience member handed us some pink slips of paper. It was a fan project to create a fun moment for Kelsea. During the song “Beg for Your Love,” people in different sections held their flashlights up with their different colored papers to create a colorful light effect around the stadium. It was such a beautiful, fun, and kind gesture, and so many moments that night were just so pure. It reminded me of the goodness people still have despite the world’s circumstances and the people in charge right now.
The Grammys were held Sunday night. I always love to watch music award shows because it makes it easier for me to feel inspired and imagine myself in that position one day. The performances were amazing, and throughout the night, the artists championed peace, hope, love, and acceptance for a lot of the groups of people being attacked by the current administration.
Overall, it gave me a renewed sense of hope and a refreshing sense of joy and relief during an otherwise dark time. It just goes to show how important art and music are for humanity. I truly believe that artists will be the ones to save the world.
I channeled my inspiration into action tonight, submitting an application to perform at CMA Fest as well as some other opportunities. I want to focus on performing and touring this year, and though the past month has been exhausting, I finally found the energy tonight, and I’m really happy about that.
2.19.25
I want to backtrack a bit and talk about the show I played the day after the election, and how I’ve chosen to use my art as my main way to resist this administration.
Due to the high stress of existing in this current timeline, my sleep has been pretty off the rails again. This caused me to accidentally miss the Women’s March, which I had been excited to go to. I remember when I went back in college after Trump won the first time—it gave me a lot of hope and energy. I’ve realized attending protests and being a part of organizing is a lot harder as a working adult, especially as a musician with limited financial resources.
What I do have, though, which is my most powerful tool, is my voice. So although I may not make it to every protest, I will make sure I incorporate some resistance into every show I play. And this is a benefit to me as well, because it gives me another reason to book more shows. If this is going to be the way I fight back against the Nazis, I better be filling up my calendar.
3.12.25
Today, it finally happened. I played a show with a full band.
Back in 2020, this was the direction I wanted to take my career. I booked a show, found a band, had a rehearsal, bought a dress, and days before the performance, COVID shut down the world and didn’t properly open it back up for two years. So I pivoted away from my performing dreams and recorded an EP and a few singles instead. Because recording music is expensive and I’m not at all in a position to do any more of that right now, pivoting back to the live show was my natural next step.
I was asked to play an artist showcase for a notable host in town called Nashville Tour Stop. I’ve played a lot of their writers’ rounds, but this is the first time I’ve been asked to do a showcase, so I jumped at the chance. One of my favorite guitar players, who has been with me from the start, helped me find a bass player and a drummer. He charted out the music and helped them get familiar with it, and I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off without him. Just goes to show how important it is to have the right people around you.
The last time I did a showcase, I had acoustic guitar and violin. And it was a nice experience, but listening to the video back, I wasn’t super impressed with my vocals. I was a lot more pitchy and less refined than I’d like to be. So I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen this time.
Between my day job and my DoorDashing, I utilized every free second I had to practice. I’ve been doing range and agility vocal exercises daily, and this has helped strengthen my voice and pitch. I created a script and memorized what I wanted to say before each song. I practiced singing each song many times, noting where I was experiencing challenges or rough spots and taking the time to figure out how to make it sound better. The day of the show, I met with the band beforehand to go over everything. I still had some nerves, and the full run-through wasn’t perfect, but I was much more prepared for my show this time around, and it came through on stage.
I made it through the entire set with no hiccups. I felt much more relaxed and comfortable having been so prepared. It didn’t hurt that I also had a very capable band. I wore my sparkliest shirt and embraced my inner theater kid.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about my brand as an artist and how I can stand out. I made a list of my strengths and weaknesses and even nailed down an archetype for my artist identity. I realized that maybe my lack of guitar playing isn’t a weakness that should stress me out, but maybe a strength I can use to differentiate myself as a performer.
Because all around Nashville, people who just stand in one spot and play guitar while they sing aren’t hard to come by. That’s kind of the Nashville thing. And there are many people, much more talented than me, who perform this way. But what I have to offer is the stage presence of a theater kid. And this unique quality I have is something I want to build into a bigger and bigger show. The thesis statement for my shows is going to be this: Brina Kay is the most theatrical performer in country music.
Would I still love to learn guitar? Absolutely. But what has helped me tremendously in finding my identity as an artist is realizing that playing guitar by myself is something that I will never need to rely on. I can put on a much more compelling show by hiring amazing players and having my body free to move around. I’d eventually like to add dancers and choreography, but for now, my focus is arm movements and using all the space on the stage I can to connect with the audience.
And having seen video clips from the show, I think I accomplished that greatly. Both my vocals and stage presence were on point. Of course, there’s always going to be room for improvement, but for our first gig with only one rehearsal all together, we did a really solid job, and I’m proud of myself.
Nights like these make the bigger dreams feel more within reach. I was able to make some amazing connections tonight that I think will lead me to even bigger and better things.
I was stressed about this show—dare I say, I felt scared and unprepared. But in this business, and in life, the best way to eventually get good at something is to plan it and do it.
I was also fortunate to have the support of my friends, and after the show, we celebrated with Cook Out chicken nuggets.
I’ve been getting a lot of adult things done—finances, doctor’s appointments, etc.—which is good for me but also hard on me socially. I haven’t really had disposable income, so a lot of my life has been going to work and coming home. Now that the weather is warming up, I’m getting back into working out and eating healthier, which has been good for me. But what felt even better was just feeling like I had a social life again. Community is so important.
3.17.25
There have been a lot of instances this year where I look at myself and feel proud that I am handling a situation better than I would have a year ago.
I was having a blast of a weekend—from nailing my full-band show to supporting a friend at a round on a downtown rooftop—and it was supposed to continue with a honky-tonk Purim party I was attending with my friends.
Instead, what happened was this: we were running from our Uber into the bar in the pouring rain, and my shoes had little to no traction. Before I knew it, I was flying through the air like a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel, and I fell right on my tailbone.
As funny as this will be looking back one day, the whole ordeal was really scary. I thought I had broken something, and at first, I wasn’t sure if I had hit my head or not. My lower back was in extreme pain, and I felt nauseous and like I was going to pass out. Better safe than sorry, I ended up taking an ambulance to the nearest hospital to get checked out.
After some X-rays and evaluations, thankfully, nothing was broken, and I didn’t have a concussion or anything. I was just going to have a very sore back and booty for a while, which is really going to throw a wrench in the momentum I’ve gained working out.
A year ago, I would have felt very discouraged by this turn of events. I would have felt like the world was against me—just as I was getting it together, I was being literally and figuratively knocked down again. I was being hit with an expensive medical bill again. I was going to have to miss work and take a pay cut. All these things would have made last-year-me feel like my world was about to come crumbling down.
Instead, what happened was this: I felt immense gratitude.
First and foremost, for my friends who forfeited their fun night out to accompany me at the hospital and take care of me, checking in on me throughout the week.
Second, for my body itself—the fact that my reflexes kicked in and braced my fall enough that it wasn’t a more serious injury. And just that, at the end of the day, I was going to be okay.
And third, that I have a day job willing to give me a few extra days off to recover. That is huge, as that wasn’t the case for me last year.
I’m in a place mentally now where I’m not going to let one bad day—or even a few sore days in a row—ruin all the progress I’ve made. I’m not going to let one setback derail me completely. I haven't felt this way in five years.
I’m grateful for how far I’ve come.
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